Two Components of Faithfulness

Posted on May 29, 2014 | 10 comments

Think for a minute how you define your faithfulness to your spouse or a person you are dating?

I find an interesting tendency when people are asked about faithfulness: it tends to be defined or described by the things that they DON’T do.

For instance, faithfulness means not having an affair, not looking at other men/women, not talking bad about my significant other, not staying at work late, not going out with friends every night, or not spending money secretly.

That is the deprivation view of faithfulness. Deprivation says now that I’m in this relationship, I have to keep myself from other (better?) options.

My partner knows that I am faithful because of what I am depriving myself.

Indeed, not doing things is certainly part of faithfulness, but a larger component of being faithful seems to be what is DONE.

Rather than thinking in terms of the things we don’t do that would tear another down, it is a beneficial lens to look to the ways that the other can be built up.

Having an affair is clearly a case of unfaithfulness.

But how would we categorize the spouse that refuses sexual intimacy?

Or the partner that dedicates their best time and energy to the workplace?

Or the person that continually uses unkind words to tear down another?

Doing what is best for another, even when it is not best for you demonstrates faithfulness.

Pursuing oneness by putting the marriage (or relational needs) above personal needs allows both to reap the benefit of security.

God is described as faithful; staying true to his promises this attribute of being faithful is demonstrated throughout the Bible.

The ultimate expression of which is what has been done for us in Christ. While we were still sinners, having no conception of needing redemption or peace or a new identity, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).


What are some characteristics of a faithful relationship?

Thanks for reading, responding, and being part of this community. If you’d like to receive future posts delivered to your email, please take a moment and subscribe to email updates. Just click here, enter your email, then check your inbox to confirm.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Tags:   | |


  1. Great article on faithfulness. So many times the other areas you discussed are not considered when looking at faithfulness, but they are sooooo important. This post brings to light meaty truths examine. Thanks!

  2. I wonder if this is what is meant by “obedience is better than sacrifice.” God drew me to this verse and I have been contemplating it for some time now. What does it mean?

    • I think that is a great question, and a blog will ensue. Thanks Laura. Hope you are well.

  3. I’m right after you at Janis’s link. You have some great insights here.

  4. When I think of the word faithful, I think of commitment, holding fast, not giving up on, promises fulfilled. Thank you for sharing your insight at The Weekend Brew! Blessings!

  5. I love this. So much to not being faithful to our wedding vows than affairs. I think of joy when I think of a characteristic of marriage. Maybe because our loving relationship brings me such joy. Even on the days things go wrong I can look in his eyes and feel the joy of knowing we are in this together!

  6. You have offered some interesting thoughts to ponder on the word faithfulness. I am so thankful that God is ever faithful to show us mercy when we are unfaithful in ways that are not pleasing to Him. I truly enjoy your posts !
    Thank you for sharing with us here at “Tell Me a Story.” At:

  7. Great post! For me, faithfulness is submitting, making my husband a priority and respecting him. Thank you for sharing this at the Whatever Wednesday link up!

  8. What excellent points. Faithfulness is a choice of what behaviors we include in the relationship and not just exclude. It’s the including that really build solid ground.

  9. You and your words are a gift! Thank you!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *